Things I Would Rather Do Than Subject Myself To A Second Viewing Of Baz Luhrmann’s ‘Australia’

Scrub a toilet.

Go to the dentist.

Eat a bucket of overcooked broccoli.

Fling my naked body into a large clump of stinging nettles.

Initiate a conversation with the weirdos who live at Number 1 in my apartment block and are always doing something vaguely creepy when I walk past.

Wear dangly gumnut earrings.

Utter the words, ‘You know, I think those Scientologists are just misunderstood.’

Complete some kind of hideous, week-long ‘nature’ hike that involves sleeping under a tarpaulin, eating freeze-dried food and pooing into a hole.

Sit through a night of experimental student theatre, such as the one I saw where people threw white paint on the floor and then rolled around in it without any clothes on, or the one my friend Munkey attended where the audience was blindfolded and force-fed cat food.

Pierce my own nipple with a darning needle.

Eat a live mouse.

The Jelly Verdict



(Feel free to add to the list... )

Regeneration

Lookit! The extremely clever and kindly Byron has made my blog all shiny and new. I have absolutely no idea how he did it, and even less idea how to use all the new-fangled features that Blogger now has ('When I were a lad... It were all different, like...'), but it's an important step on the path towards the highway of the journey along the long and winding ill-thought out metaphor that represents the restart of this blog. The old blog had grown so unattractive, when I looked at it I felt shame and distaste, as if my once-cute child had grown up into an unattractive, sulky teenager with orange spray-on skin. But now it's all better. La.

Thanks to all the wonderful, beautiful peeps who commented on the last post. I am really excited about doing this blog thing again. But it might take me a while to work out how the bananas it's all going to work, and I will need help from Byron and others to make all the things go snap, crackle and pop, like Blogrolls and tags and the like. In the meantime, may I direct your attention to these pictures of the Cape Rain Frog, because it's weird and frightening* and adorable and I'm pretty sure you will love it just a little bit. You do, don't you? Yes, you do! That's why we're friends!

The Jelly Verdict
New blog is pretty... just like the new Doctor. Mmm.



Proper posts to follow...


*Wherefore the e in frightening? Take it out, I say. We could replace it with a jaunty apostrophe.

O Hai

I'm thinking of getting the band back together.

The Jelly Verdict
Watch. This. Space.