Things I Would Rather Do Than Subject Myself To A Second Viewing Of Baz Luhrmann’s ‘Australia’
Scrub a toilet.
Go to the dentist.
Eat a bucket of overcooked broccoli.
Fling my naked body into a large clump of stinging nettles.
Initiate a conversation with the weirdos who live at Number 1 in my apartment block and are always doing something vaguely creepy when I walk past.
Wear dangly gumnut earrings.
Utter the words, ‘You know, I think those Scientologists are just misunderstood.’
Complete some kind of hideous, week-long ‘nature’ hike that involves sleeping under a tarpaulin, eating freeze-dried food and pooing into a hole.
Sit through a night of experimental student theatre, such as the one I saw where people threw white paint on the floor and then rolled around in it without any clothes on, or the one my friend Munkey attended where the audience was blindfolded and force-fed cat food.
Pierce my own nipple with a darning needle.
Eat a live mouse.
The Jelly Verdict
(Feel free to add to the list... )
14 comments:
So do you think I should buy the dvd?
(Also, in light of the school fete tweeting - our son was totally drenched at a Saturday school fete on a swingy ride thing, he's still talking about it. I hope people were too distracted by tattooed and chain-smoking parents to notice us explaining that he couldn't go on the ride again because we had to go home and dry him off.)
Ahhhhhhhhhh come-on! Nettles? Experimental theatre? Are you SURE? At least at the movies you can have popcorn and wrestle with the completely confounding question
"WTF was Baz THINKING????????"
Always nice to have a challenge.
Anyway, freezedried food is not that bad apparently. Or is it only my ex that goes on nature hikes with foil wrapped packs of freeze dried ice cream and lasagne?
you won't get an argument from me, as they are all things I would rather do than go see it a first time.
and lookout F.Scott Fitzgerald lovers, Luhrid Barry is gonna trash, err sorry weave his magic on The Great Gatsby (y'know, cos the version with Robert Redford wasn't good enough).
the new look is gorgeous.
keep 'em coming.
I couldn't bring myself to either love it or hate it, although the inclusion of Miss Fanta Pants from BMX Bandits started me off on the hating side.
Gumnut earrings? Didn't your mother wear them?
Hey - about getting the band together again- it's been two years between blog posts /gigs - what the hell went on in that time?
Heh. I got a job!
I'll write a proper post about that soon, but in short, I became a full-time primary teacher and the job is so creatively draining that I didn't have any energy left to write.
I've settled into the routine of it now, and the desire to write has returned.
A link to another opinion on Barry Luhridd's plan to trash F.Scott Fitzgerald for us.
Word.
can I please just pause for a moment to say
WAHOOOOOHOOOHOOOO
and that I have not. repeat not inflicted Australia upon my eyeballs.
I still have not seen Forest Gump either. Some longago ex persuaded me to see titanic. perhaps one of the reasons he is an ex.
What if Jelly wrote a blog post before she was once again yoked to a classroom full of tiny chilluns?
I've been thinkin': is Australia better or worse than the box set of the Wiggles?
Because my traitorous co-parent borrowed the box set of the Wiggles from the library and I might have to kill him. Or make him watch Australia.
Don't even mention the fucking Wiggles!!!!!!!
I haven't watched it the first time either. Each time I see the Nicole Kidman running snap, I want to run away even further.
I think I'll go scrub the toilet.
I've got to go inflict myself on a bunch of study. Then I will pluck eyebrows. That sounds lots more fun than watching Australia.
I rather liked some of Baz's other stuff. I liked watching Romeo and Juliet, I liked watching Strictly Ballroom. But I will give Australia a miss, he seems to have really lost it.
It's that Nicole, I reckon.
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